"I dunno.  they'll either have it in oklahoma or here in california. 
she liked oklahoma.."

"yeah i just thought i'd call and tell you she passed.
*laughter* no more putting up with me
what's that? oh i said no more putting up with me.. yeah..
ok well i'll talk to you later.  bye"

"Hey hon.  Is there anything you want me to do?
I called Dave and Lee and Pastor Ed..
they said their prayers are with you..
ok then i'll talk to you later.. bye.."

Thus the passing of someone great..
My dad told me there's not easy way of saying it..
he used the term 'passed away'.. 
like..
way in the past..
My grandma is in the past... she died.. she didnt pass away she died.. there was no.. keeling over for her, she DIED.. she didnt happily PASS AWAY!! She ripped my heart out of my chest.. i ran to her room threw myself on her bed and bawled like a little baby.. i miss my grandma... even now i can see a fault within me.. tears..
everyone cries for other people..
i wasnt a good enough grandson..
not enough respect.. now i do.. i realized before i could tell her..
she may have easily loved me more than my mother did..
a whole mess... yes she loved me a whole mess...

i will not go to school and hear them tell me how sorry they are for me..
i dont want to be im sorry'd 8 billion times..

im taking another day off... like my grandma was.. and im sitting infront of her computer.. she'd..
she's marvelous..
she'd wrap herself in this same blanket.. as i've observed countless times before.. and shes have this HUGE mug.. it was a bowl.. but it had a handle.. so technically it was a 'mug' and she's eat her top ramen noodle soup.. cuz her teeth were really bad..
she went to arizona to get them fixed
and i'd grab a package and... she's ask if i was gunna eat it raw again.. and tell me how bad it was for my teeth..
I miss my grandma.. the one that loved me more than anything..

she loved me a whole mess... she loved me..

tears bring headaches.. no wonder girls are in bad moods all the time..